I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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