dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
lets start a swedish sibling band together
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
