Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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