you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
