new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
