Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
