just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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