my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize