you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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