I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
love makes seman taste better
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
