Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
