I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
