your parents love me but you hate me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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