who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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