I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
