i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
