im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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