I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
