Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
