soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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