Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize