Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
