Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
