Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
