Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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