ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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