I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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