I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
