I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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