i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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