just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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