I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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