This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
