You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
