some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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