dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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