Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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