He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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