would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
