i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I have demons in me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
