either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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