if i can run in heels then i can drive
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
