Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize