went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
