Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
All the doctor said was why
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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