He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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