Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
