I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
only you would photoshop your dick
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
