The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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