I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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