I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
They took my balls.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
