i just made my gag reflex go away.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize