What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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