you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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