you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
