oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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