My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
