it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
