Got a toothbrush?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
