Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
