i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It's never too late to be topless.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
