Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
