So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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