the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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