party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
