His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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