my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
