Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
