hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I could have mohawked her pubes.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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