haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
