Quick, to the slutcave!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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