try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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