Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
