why didn't you poke me back
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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