He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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