no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
