Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
