Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
