It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
