If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
